It is no less than an honour to get to speak a few words on your best friend’s / children’s wedding day. Sure enough, it may not look as easy as it seems. But hey, it’s not a big deal. The wedding isn’t a speech contest right? It’s all about sharing happiness with friends and families.
In the olden days, It was usually the Groom, his Father and the Best Man who gave the speech, but nowadays, the bride as well as the bridesmaid enlighten their part. In fact, anyone can! There are no rules. Just some decorum that needs to be followed.
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So here are 7 things to avoid during a wedding speech.
No matter how close you are to the couple, it is necessary to realize that the day is all about the bride and the groom and they deserve to be made felt special throughout the occasion. There are various levels of criticism. There’s no taking on how people could perceive things and therefore you could end up offending a lot of people. As they say, too much of anything is bad, so it’s okay to keep a 30% criticism level to keep the audience and the couple entertained.
2. Do not mention their Past Relationships
Everyone has a past which may not have been easy for them. Even though the topic is a cliche, bringing up such matters during the wedding can tie down the festive mood. It could also seem awkward to the guests and hence it would be better to keep such matters off the wall. People come for weddings to have fun and celebrate with friends and family. Not to hear about your past failures. But if you are sure that it would be taken lightly, it could be hilarious to present them in a funny manner.
3. Do not Forget to Thank the Guests for Coming Over
Regardless of whose wedding it is, mentioning the names of your guests (particularly those who came from far and the elderly people) and personally thanking them for coming to the wedding can make their day. It would mean the world to them when you give them the attention they deserve. When you do this, they return the gratitude by making sure to give you the pomp and support you deserve during your big day.
4. Do not go Unrehearsed
A typical wedding mistake that a lot of people commit is going out there without practice. Even though you may be a super confident person, when it comes to your family or friend’s wedding, you might end up being a little nervous. Record yourself, your expressions and speech. Notice if you are humming too much to fill in the gaps. It can be a bother to your guests when you hum a lot over the microphone. Stand in front of the mirror so that you get the feel of speaking to another person in front of you. Check your expressions and maintain your smile. Rehearsing can give you time to focus your eye contact with the audience without forgetting your words.
5. Do not Exceed The 5 Minute Mark
We understand that there might either be too much to say or a very few words. Both of them can be awkward, so it is necessary to hold your speech between 2 to 5 minutes. According to a survey, about 40% of the people keep their speech under 2 minutes and 20% speak for more than 5 minutes.
6. Do not Booze Up for Courage
As nervous as you can get, it’s best to refrain yourself from drinking prior to the speech. The guests already know you pretty much and they can catch the difference in your personality. If you really need a go at it, stick to one champagne. Too much booze can take your words off track resulting in awkward and embarrassing situations.
7. Do not Dig Up the Losses of the Past
A wedding is no movie scenario. It is necessary to maintain a happy mood and hence it would be wise to stick to the happy moments of the near past, present and the future. People do not want to get reminded of their losses during happy events. You can talk about how you grew up with the wedding couple, or how you both used to talk about your marriage goals.
A marriage happens just once and it’s not a field where one needs to gain experience. A marriage can be however you want it to be and the same goes for the speech as long as it is not hurtful. And of course It is natural to be a little anxious.
Here are 4 things that you should follow for the wedding speech
Most of the guests already know you and your personality. It is okay to crack a bit of sarcasm here and there. But do not pretend to be the Kevin Hart of the wedding. First of all, the guests will notice your unusual eccentricity in your tone and behaviour and they’ll be like “What happened to this guy?”
When you pretend to portray a different character, you lose focus from your speech.
2. Mention the People who were Unable to Turn Up
Not everybody gets the opportunity to be present for the wedding for various personal reasons. It would mean the world to them, giving them a sense of importance. Mentioning their names would add to their emotions resulting in a beautiful moment. With technological advancements, one can witness all these on live through YouTube, Instagram and Facebook.
3. Recall an incident from Down the Memory Lane
People love to hear a story as long as they’re kept short and to the point. You can use this opportunity to explain to the guests, how you first met the bride/groom. Or if you are a father or mother, you can talk about your thoughts when you first saw your child, and to see him/her grow into an adult and now married.
4. Thank Everyone who Helped in setting the event
A wedding is not a simple task. A lot of work is involved behind the scenes. Right from buying the ring to the closure of the celebration, a lot of effort goes into achieving perfection. It involves the hard work of the event planners and they completely deserve the credit for it.
Here is an example of a wedding speech as the best man.
“Good evening ladies and gentlemen. It must be an honour for you all to meet me, as well as mine. I’m Jim and I’m glad that Matt, after all this time, finally admitted that I am the best man.
I want to take this opportunity to reveal some of Matt’s secrets as a revenge for stealing the last piece of wedding cake that I had saved for myself.
I couldn’t spare much time preparing the speech, so I would like to apologise in advance, just in case I ruin the next 5 minutes.
Matt and I met back in our school days. We were in the same batch. Unlike other friendships, ours started with me getting punched by Matt in the face – For spreading dirt on his favorite pair of white Nike sneakers.
I mean.. I still insist that it was his fault. Who asked him to pass by when I was kicking up dirt in the soccer field?
Matt was an overly active spoiled brat back then. We’re talking about 10 years back. I could’ve sworn that we could still have been the best rivals if it wasn’t for the time we both got lost while exploring the woods and needed each other to find the way back.
Today, seeing him married to the girl of his life, I can’t be any more jealous and happy for him at the same time. I mean, I really hope Susan let’s him hangout with the boys for our Saturday nights.
I remember the day how Matt, in spite of being a big bully, was shy to ask Susan out for a date. “You needed me to give you the push every time. Matt, you owe me big time.”
Jokes apart, for once i’m glad that Matt found the love of his life. I can finally have my ‘me’ time. Thank you both for finding each other. I wish you both the very best for the tough times ahead.
Even though I do not personally know each of the guests present here, I want to personally thank you big, for coming to my best friend’s wedding, keeping aside your favorite books and TV shows. It means a lot.
As for the event planning, I thank the team of Symphony Weddings for executing a perfect wedding evening.
And I thank Matt for choosing me as the best man. I mean did you have a choice?
I guess it’s been 5 minutes even though I got to speak for just 2 minutes. Rest of the time was spent waiting for the laughter to stop.
Thanks for bearing with my speech. I would like to call for a TOAST to the beautiful wedding couple, as well as everyone that blessed the wedding of my best friend and his wife. Cheers!”